When Play Becomes a Language: Understanding Play Therapy for Children

By: Katie Ingham, Psychologist

I love working with children and adolescents in a therapeutic setting, but my path to becoming a psychologist wasn’t a traditional one. I was a personal trainer for 8 years and it was then that I realised I enjoyed helping my clients grow and work towards their goals by talking to them rather just training them. My younger self would also never have imagined I would be working with children. But here I am, and I love it.

Before my studies and internships, I was always terrified of children. I thought they were hard to talk to, and I always felt very self-conscious around them. It wasn’t until I had one of my own that it all changed. I realised how awesome and fun kids can be! That’s when I knew I wanted to work with children when I became a psychologist.

Why I love working with children?

Children throw themselves into the process with excitement and enthusiasm. And even when they don’t, putting in the work needed to earn a child’s trust is so intensely rewarding. The whole experience is a privilege.

How to communicate and break down barriers with children in therapy?

Answer: Talk in their language...play.

Children are in a developmental stage where they are still learning how to regulate and express their emotions. Unlike adults, who can typically communicate their feelings with words, kids may not always have the language to explain what they’re going through.

Play therapy taps into children’s natural way of understanding the world. Through play, they can act out scenarios that mirror their real-life experiences, fears, and desires. Whether it’s through dolls, art, or role-playing, play provides children with the opportunity to process their feelings in a non-threatening way.

The goal is to create a safe space where the child feels comfortable and understood, which can lead to emotional healing, improved behaviour, and enhanced social skills. Play is also a great way to teach and offer a space to practise executive functioning skills such as regulating one’s emotions, time management, attention and focus, self-advocacy, and problem-solving. Social skills such as collaboration, empathy, listening, sharing can also be taught within the context of play.

The therapist’s role in play therapy

There are different types of play therapy, but sessions are typically child-centred, allowing the child to express themselves in a way that feels natural for them. The therapist uses play to build rapport, understand emotional struggles, and guide the child through healing in a non-threatening way.

The therapist may use a variety of play-based techniques, such as:

• Sand Tray Therapy: Using a tray of sand and miniatures to create scenes that represent the child’s experiences and feelings.
• Board Games and Card Games: This can a great way to assist children to increase distress tolerance, especially those who struggle with the emotions associated with losing. These games can also be used as positive spaces to build and reinforce social skills.
• Creative Art: Drawing or painting to express emotions that might be too hard to put into words.
• Role-playing or Puppetry: Using dolls, puppets, or action figures to act out social situations or issues the child is facing.
• Storytelling: Encouraging the child to create stories or scenarios that reflect their experiences.

As the child plays, the therapist will typically silently observe, making mental notes about the child’s behaviours, tone, or actions. For example:

• Themes: Is the child building a fortress, suggesting a need for security? Are they acting out aggressive behaviour, which could indicate anger or frustration?
• Repetition: If the child keeps repeating certain actions, it may signal an emotional preoccupation or an unresolved issue they are working through.
• Body Language: The child’s posture or facial expressions can indicate how they’re feeling while engaging with the toys or materials.

At times, the therapist might gently engage by asking questions or offering comments, not to direct the play, but to encourage more exploration. For example: "I see you’re making a big tower. What’s happening with the tower now?" This gives the child a chance to express themselves further.

Over time, the therapist can help the child process difficult emotions, explore solutions to problems, and develop healthier coping strategies.

The power of mirroring in play therapy

Another technique used frequently in play therapy is called mirroring. This involves the therapist reflecting to the child their own behaviours, emotions, or actions in a way that makes them feel seen, understood, and validated. Mirroring is a key technique in play therapy, and it plays a crucial role in building a strong therapeutic relationship between the child and therapist. The key benefits of this technique include:

1. Promotes emotional validation.
2. Builds trust and connection and enhances the therapeutic relationship.
3. Encourages self-reflection.
4. Reinforces self-correction and reinforces positive behaviour change.
5. Enhances communication skills.

For example, imagine a child who is playing with a set of dolls and acting out a scene of conflict. If the therapist mirrors the child’s actions by using a similar tone or mimicking the scenario, it can deepen the child's understanding of the situation. It also helps the child realise that their feelings are valid, whether they are playing out anger, sadness, or joy.

The power of involving parents and caretakers in play therapy

Involving parents and caretakers within play therapy session comes with many potential benefits to the child at an individual level, in addition to the family unit, including:

• Promotes Family Connections: Creates a shared experience that can be used to repair fractured relationships.
• Facilitates Involvement: Communicate with the therapist to stay informed about your child’s progress and any strategies you can use at home.
• Encourages Expression: Provide opportunities for your child to engage in creative activities outside of therapy, such as drawing, playing with toys, or acting out scenarios.
• Promotes Patience: Healing takes time. Be patient with your child’s progress and offer plenty of reassurance as they work through their emotions.

Remember that small changes can make a world of difference when we’re talking about our little people. The focus on small steps ultimately creates a foundation for lasting change. Each little breakthrough can lead to bigger shifts in how the child thinks, feels, and interacts with the world around them. I would encourage all parents not to underestimate the value of play, as it's through play that our hearts heal and the mind opens—play therapy is a path where children discover strength, understanding, and the power to overcome.